Thursday, September 5, 2013

8 Simple rules to dating my Teenage (Youth Group) Daughter


Recently I have had a lot of conversations with my High School youth group girls about boys and relationships.  Unfortunately most of the conversations are about break ups or liking a boy that wants to be with them but because of friends or other situations acts like they don't.  I don't quite understand why boys act the way they do or say the things they say.  I didn't date a lot throughout middle school, high school, or even college but I do know how to treat a lady.  That being said although I will leave the shotgun wielding to the father's of my youth girls here are 8 simple rules to dating my (youth group) daughters.

8. Chivalry is not dead.  You need to do the things that make a girl feel wanted and needed.  Open the school or church or for that matter any door for her.  If your driving, open her car door for her, let her sit down, and close it before you get in the car. Pull her chair out for her and help push it back under the table. Complement her. Tell her she looks beautiful.  It is a simple thing but often overlooked.  FYI all my girls are beautiful inside and out.

7.  No matter what happens between the two of you don't cuss her out or threaten her. Whatever happens you both are young and will do things to hurt each other unfortunately that still happens when you are an adult.  Don't ruin an opportunity to continue a friendship if you break up.  Life is too short to hold grudges.  Remember the good times and that no matter what you are young and other girls will come along.

6. Communication is key.  Gentlemen I can't stress this enough!  The silent treatment is not an affective dating strategy.  It may seem cute to you but you only get so much time together and if you waste it by trying to act cute your missing out.  Actually it is quite stupid especially if the girl is into you.  Have open lines of communication because that is the key to any type of relationship.

5. Leave the bodily functions at home.  So you are at the age where you think farting and burping in front of a girl to get a reaction is funny.  It's a shame you think so because I promise you they don't think so.  Try to get away if you have to but if you can't say excuse me and mean it!

4.  Do nice things.  It's really easy.  Something as simple as a card or letter will make a world of difference in your relationship.  Gifts are nice to but complements (see number 8) take the cake.  Girl's love it when you treat them with respect and kindness.  You should act kind and respectful even if your not dating them.  Hand holding is appropriate as long as you have passed the father test (not me, the guy holding the shotgun). 

3. Meet her parents.  Ok I have joked about dad with a shotgun giving you a hard time but it is really important that you meet her parents and talk with them.  It is so important to have a good relationship with them as well because you are going to be spending a lot of time with their daughter.  They need to know you and trust you so that they know their daughter is in good hands.

2.  Dress and attitude are important.  You don't need to go buy a whole new wardrobe or anything like that but looking nice and having a good attitude are important.  You don't want to lose a girl because of your wardrobe.  Your attitude is so important especially if you act differently with her in front of your friends.  If you are mean to her or ignore her when your friends are around that is a big no no. Your relationship is not going to last long if you are a different person when you are alone with her versus in a crowd.

1.1  Understand that I know all!  That's right, I know all or a have a way to find out something if I need to.  I'm not saying I run a background check on but then again I'm not saying that I don't run a background check on you.  Her parents are the ones you will have to deal with but my girls are my girls and they tell me a lot.  Be good to them and just know that if and when you break their hearts because of their support group there is going to be a lot of people their for her.  Just be a good guy and when and if things end, do it with dignity not by cutting up the teddy bear she gave you and sending her a picture of it.

1.2  It is important that you have God in your life and in your relationship.  When you go out to eat say grace.  Come to church with her and know that we will be waiting with open arms to welcome you.  Know that God is there for you and will be a vital important part of your life if you haven't accepted him into yours yet.  Relationships last longer when they are God centered!

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