The Safest Place on Earth

*This is not Agnes and Sean. Just FYI!

Last Saturday was the memorial service for Agnes.  It was a beautiful service filled with stories that brought both tears and laughter.  Four different people got up and spoke.  One of those people was Sean, who was Agnes' grandson.  He was funny, loving, caring, and full of emotion as he told stories based on words he had written down about Agnes. 

At the end of his time he started to talk about how loving and caring she was.  As he did this his emotions got the best of him and he started to cry.  He was able to stop long enough to say that when they were picked up and sat on grandma's lap that it was the safest place on earth.  It honestly had me crying as well.

It was such a wonderful thought of a grandson picked up and placed the lap of his grandmother as she rocked back and forth on a rocking chair, holding him and singing to him.  Makes me think about the times when I was little that people made me feel safe and loved.

I think we each have a person or place that when we are there or with them we know that nothing bad can happen.  We are safe and comfortable and no matter where we go and what we do as long as we are with that person or in that place nothing bad will ever happen.  That person always brings a smile to a face and a laugh to our heart.  They are always there for us.

Life is hard and scary.  There is always something happening and sometimes that something is a bad thing.  I wish for you that someone special that will hug you up and hold you.  That will whisper in your ear and tell you that everything will be ok.   They will wipe the tears from your eyes and hold you tight as they sing to you or rock you.  They will listen and love you no matter what you have done or no matter what has happened.  They just want to be with you and love you and help to keep the bad out and the good in.

I hope that you have someone like that in your life and if you don't, let me be him.  I will provide for you the safest place on earth! 

Thankless Job

When I took over as the Teen Director at the YMCA one of the first things that was told to me was that working with teens was a thankless job.  What that person meant was that most of the time you will not hear from the teens how much you mean to them or see the difference you are making in them until they grow up and become adults.  That person was saying that teens are teens and no matter how much you mean to them they don't tell you because they just don't think about it in the moment.

 I actually have seen that first hand as some of my youth from my days at the YMCA have shared with me in their adult lives how much of an impact I had on their lives.  They let me know that they are so thankful for the hand I played in making them the person they are today.  I cherish each one of those conversations, texts, emails, and facebook messages that I have gotten from them.  It truly melts my heart to hear from them and know that yes I have made an impact. 

This past Sunday, Harper, a youth that I have known since she was in the 5th grade brought me a brown envelope.  She handed it to me, told me Happy Birthday, and said that I couldn't read it with her standing there.  She sort of ran / walked away.  I opened the envelope and inside was a paper she had written for her English class.  She had to write about a mentor in her life and she choose me.

The paper talked about how much of an impact I have had in her life and that I was always there for her and available.  She said that I was her mentor because I am passionate, wise, and loyal.  She goes on to talk about my passion for my job and how I am available whenever people need me.  That I am a very passionate person.  She talks about how wise I am and that I am always willing to help whenever a problem comes up.  She talks about how I seem to know the answer to a lot of the things that teenagers deal with.  She finishes with talking about how loyal I am and that no matter what mistakes they make I always have their backs.  I check on them frequently and am always supporting them.

It was amazing to read the words that Harper wrote.  I was so thankful and humbled by her kind loving words.  I am so thankful that she shared this with me and showed me that this is not a thankless job.  My kids love and support me just as much as I love and support them.  Harper finished her paper with the line:

"Without a doubt Eric is that inspiring person to me.  I hope that one day I will be admired the way I admire him."

Words can not express my feelings when I read that sentence!

Rated M for Mature

Hi my name is Eric and I am an avid player of Call of Duty, this is my first meeting of COD Anonymous...

Ok its true, one of my stress reliefs in this world is to play Call of Duty, specifically Black Ops 2.  I am pretty good at times and sometime not but most of the time I can hold my own.   Basically this is a first person shooter where you try to kill the other team.  I play multiplayer which means that I play with people from all over the world when I am online.  Through the internet we connect to a game and play together.

Call of Duty Black Ops 2 is a mature video game, it is labeled as such on the package.  For some reason parents don't seem to pay attention to that label and they buy their 10 year old kids the game and allow them to play online.  If you can get past the violence which is why the video game is rated mature, then it is fun but it is the online multiplayer experience that is the reason that I wouldn't want young people playing this game.

When I was a kid 10 years old, I didn't curse a lot.  I didn't hear a lot of it unless I was working on the car with my dad (sorry dad), but in COD Black Ops 2 every other word on the multiplayer is a curse word.  You see I forgot to mention that a lot of these guys that play the game have microphones and can talk out loud during the game.  It is supposed to be for game strategy  purposes but a lot of guys use it to berate other players. 

It is actually quite annoying and disrespectful but it happens all the time.  You have college kids and 10 years olds cursing each other out while playing the game.  It is amazing to hear.  I don't use a mic because honestly I do find myself saying a word or two, not at players but at myself over the way I am playing. 

This leads me to something that I just don't understand.  Yesterday I was playing and I was doing really well.  Unlike others within the game I don't cheat or have a mod controller, I play straight up so I use everything that they game offers to my advantage.  I just wanted to state that, anyway, I was beating up a team pretty much by myself when all of the sudden I get a message on my xbox account from a guy online.  I didn't know him but it was a voice message.

He goes off on my for kicking their tail.  He curses me out, says some nasty stuff about my parents and ends with the F bomb followed by the word you.  Here is the thing that bothered me the most about it.  He was a college kid at least if not older and on the message he left me he called me kid. 

It doesn't bother me that he cursed me out because he obviously isn't very "mature"  but the fact that he called me kid means that he had no idea how old I was so for all he knew he was leaving a message for a 10 year old.  That bothers me. We work so hard to protect our kids but then we give them access to a place where adults don't care what they say or who they say it to.  Parent's allow kids into this world full of violence and terrible language.

I would never say the things that these guys same online to my youth or any other person for that matter.  I guess I am just a very "mature" person. Please be careful what you allow your kids to play and do.  There is not need for our kids to be subjected to this type of behavior from adults and the only way to stop it is to keep them from playing the mature video games! 

Lost in the Everyday...

Do you have a daily routine?


I think we all do, whether it is work or school we have certain things that we do everyday.  I have to get up, get ready, go to work, workout, go home, cook dinner, do some work on the computer, go to bed and get up the next day and do it all over again.  To often we get lost in that  everyday that we miss out on small things.  I know that I get into my daily routine and I miss out on opportunities and people that have come into my life.  It is easy to be set in routine, people don't like change.  I think though that we miss out on the world if we don't stop, breathe, and look around.

Tonight I had dinner with a youth in the youth group that doesn't attend very often and is hard to nail down.  I actually didn't know if we were going to have a lot to talk about.  It turns out that we did.  We talked about school, video games, reading, writing blogs, new technology that is coming out, college plans, and of course food.  It was really interesting to hear him talk about things and listen to what he had to say and to connect with him on his level.  Of course I reiterated about coming to youth group and staying on top of his grades for college but honestly I was really impressed.

I wouldn't have normally had that opportunity to sit down and eat with him and just talk if I didn't make the time.  My day could end at 5:00 pm but where is the fun in that?  We all know my schedule is crazy and that I get text messages late at night from the youth but that is what makes life interesting.

So your job may not be as fun as mine and you don't take your work home with you, that's fine but it doesn't mean that you can't stop and take notice of the world around you.  When is the last time you ate outside, or took a walk, not a run but a walk?  When have you spontaneously taken your husband, wife or significant other to dinner?  Have you ridden your bike lately or played a board game?  Do you have a blog? 

My everyday is different from your everyday but they are the same because they are our everyday.  You have to step outside of your everyday or you will get lost it.  That is the last thing you want to do because getting lost in the everyday causes you to lose touch.  Don't get lost in the everyday even if you have to start small doing some things that are out of the normal routine.  Every little bread crumb that you put down will help you from getting lost.

Take the family to the movies, pop some popcorn and watch a DVD.  Put on your coats go outside lay down in the driveway and just look at the stars.  Read a book, write a novel, play in the creek, just live your life.

You feel that?

That's you, finding your way!

Shout out to Tawny!  Happy Birthday!

Fall into Fall...

Can you feel it?

I think Fall is almost here!  Football, leaves changing colors, cooler weather, and sweatshirts.  I really enjoy the Fall.  Don't get me wrong Summer is fun and excited but I get hot really easy.  Winter is too cold and Spring brings about what little allergy issues I have.  Fall is perfect, the cooler temperatures are perfect.  I can wear shorts and a sweatshirt and them switch over to jeans when it gets too cold.  I like to be outside more in the Fall because the air is crisp the sun doesn't burn so much and the world seems to move at a slower pace.

The world seems to make a change.  Now I know that we see a lot of that change as the grass turns brown and the leaves fall from the trees but people seem to change as well in the Fall.  I know that people seem to change for every season but during the Fall there is a new found love of life.  People get excited about cooler temps, tailgating, the fair, and football. All of these show that people love the cooler Fall weather and love some football.

I think there is one problem with Fall and that is that people have a tendency to allow their full Saturdays to affect their Sundays.  When you have a full schedule on a Saturday and tickets to your favorite game you make it seem that it is ok to miss church on Sunday morning.  This might be ok for one Sunday but I see where there are families that disappear for the entire football season. 

I love football as much as the next person and I will be missing the Sunday after the Virginia Tech vs. North Carolina game because I will be going up to Blacksburg, but we need to remember who gave us football.  God provides all that we have including the pig skin that is thrown around on the weekend.  He gave us those mascots as well as those sweet uniforms.  He gave us the stadium we sit in and the person that announces the game.  He gave those kids on the field that are playing their hearts out the talent and ability to play on any given Saturday.

God provides all of the football experience that we have on a Saturday, doesn't he deserve for us to be there on Sunday morning to cheer him on?  The crowd should never be thin on a Sunday morning because of football on a Saturday.  We are blessed by everything God gives us and it is up to us to make sure that we don't neglect it!  Make Sunday just as important as Saturday, heck I'll tailgate with you in the parking lot of church before the 11:00 service!

See you Sunday!

8 Simple rules to dating my Teenage (Youth Group) Daughter

 

 

 

Recently I have had a lot of conversations with my High School youth group girls about boys and relationships.  Unfortunately most of the conversations are about break ups or liking a boy that wants to be with them but because of friends or other situations acts like they don't.  I don't quite understand why boys act the way they do or say the things they say.  I didn't date a lot throughout middle school, high school, or even college but I do know how to treat a lady.  That being said although I will leave the shotgun wielding to the father's of my youth girls here are 8 simple rules to dating my (youth group) daughters.

8. Chivalry is not dead.  You need to do the things that make a girl feel wanted and needed.  Open the school or church or for that matter any door for her.  If your driving, open her car door for her, let her sit down, and close it before you get in the car. Pull her chair out for her and help push it back under the table. Complement her. Tell her she looks beautiful.  It is a simple thing but often overlooked.  FYI all my girls are beautiful inside and out.

7.  No matter what happens between the two of you don't cuss her out or threaten her. Whatever happens you both are young and will do things to hurt each other unfortunately that still happens when you are an adult.  Don't ruin an opportunity to continue a friendship if you break up.  Life is too short to hold grudges.  Remember the good times and that no matter what you are young and other girls will come along.

6. Communication is key.  Gentlemen I can't stress this enough!  The silent treatment is not an affective dating strategy.  It may seem cute to you but you only get so much time together and if you waste it by trying to act cute your missing out.  Actually it is quite stupid especially if the girl is into you.  Have open lines of communication because that is the key to any type of relationship.

5. Leave the bodily functions at home.  So you are at the age where you think farting and burping in front of a girl to get a reaction is funny.  It's a shame you think so because I promise you they don't think so.  Try to get away if you have to but if you can't say excuse me and mean it!

4.  Do nice things.  It's really easy.  Something as simple as a card or letter will make a world of difference in your relationship.  Gifts are nice to but complements (see number 8) take the cake.  Girl's love it when you treat them with respect and kindness.  You should act kind and respectful even if your not dating them.  Hand holding is appropriate as long as you have passed the father test (not me, the guy holding the shotgun). 

3. Meet her parents.  Ok I have joked about dad with a shotgun giving you a hard time but it is really important that you meet her parents and talk with them.  It is so important to have a good relationship with them as well because you are going to be spending a lot of time with their daughter.  They need to know you and trust you so that they know their daughter is in good hands.

2.  Dress and attitude are important.  You don't need to go buy a whole new wardrobe or anything like that but looking nice and having a good attitude are important.  You don't want to lose a girl because of your wardrobe.  Your attitude is so important especially if you act differently with her in front of your friends.  If you are mean to her or ignore her when your friends are around that is a big no no. Your relationship is not going to last long if you are a different person when you are alone with her versus in a crowd.

1.1  Understand that I know all!  That's right, I know all or a have a way to find out something if I need to.  I'm not saying I run a background check on but then again I'm not saying that I don't run a background check on you.  Her parents are the ones you will have to deal with but my girls are my girls and they tell me a lot.  Be good to them and just know that if and when you break their hearts because of their support group there is going to be a lot of people their for her.  Just be a good guy and when and if things end, do it with dignity not by cutting up the teddy bear she gave you and sending her a picture of it.

1.2  It is important that you have God in your life and in your relationship.  When you go out to eat say grace.  Come to church with her and know that we will be waiting with open arms to welcome you.  Know that God is there for you and will be a vital important part of your life if you haven't accepted him into yours yet.  Relationships last longer when they are God centered!

Two roads...

 

 

 

 

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled"

 

-Robert Frost

 

 

This past weekend I went to Blacksburg to get away for a little bit.  It was a fun, relaxing, enjoyable time with family and friends.  On Saturday morning we decided that we wanted to go hike the trail that leads to the Cascade Falls which is a local waterfall that is very popular.  It is about a 30 minute drive from Blacksburg.

 

Upon arrival at the park where the waterfall is located, you find the trail head.  At the trail head you are met with two options.  There is an high road trail which is a very wide open trail with few rocks and an easy climb and descent to the waterfall.  Then there is the low road which is along the water that leads to falls. The low road is full of slippery rocks, mud, and rock stairs that make you constantly go up and down.  It is a much more intense trail but the same distance as the high road.  Both trails are 2 miles long.

 

So a decision had to be made, do we take the high road, the easier trail, or do we take the low road, the harder trail.  We decided that we would make that decision when we got to where the trails split.  So off we went on our adventure.  It was only about a tenth of a mile before we had to make our decision.  We decided to take the low road so we crossed the bridge that lead across the creek to the low road trail.  Immediately we were met with an obstacle which were some downed trees which seemed to have fallen the night before.  They were huge trees that had broken in half. 

 

This was an opportunity to turn around and take the high trail, but we chose to climb over the trees and continue down the low road.  The low road was hard and very slick.  Many times I came close to falling.  There was a lot of mud and wet rocks.  The neat thing was at it was right on the water as we walked it and there were so many opportunities to take pictures along the way.  We would stop and take pictures and then move on.  About an hour and 10 minutes into our walk we thought surly we were close to the falls.  We saw a bridge leading back across the creek so we thought that right around the corner was the falls.  When we reached the other side of the bridge, we were met with a sign that said, "Congratulations you are half way there!" 

 

I was in shock.  I couldn't believe it.  I thought surly we were done!  Nope, we had another mile to go! 

 

We finally made it to the falls after 2 hours of walking.  It was hard but at the same time we never would of seen the sights and sounds of walking along the creek. 

 

(Moment of clarification when I say creek this thing had rapids and huge rocks but wasn't as wide as your typical river so it was hard to call it a river.) 

 

Once we had enjoyed the falls we decided to take the high road home and made it back to the parking lot in less that an hour.  It was so easy and well defined.  People were actually running the trail for exercise.  It was definitely easier.

 

I think that is the road that most of us travel is the high road.  The easy road where we can see what is up ahead of us.  The road that we know is safe and free of obstacles.  The road that is well defined and the most traveled.  Unfortunately I think we miss out too often on the sights and sounds of the lower, harder, less traveled road.  The adventure and excitement that fills us as we turn a corner or see something we have never seen before.  Yes that road is hard, yes it is long but the sense of accomplishment or excitement when you finish taking the less traveled road is a far better feeling than when you just take the easy way out.  When you are faced with two roads in life, I suggest that every now and then you take the one less traveled.  The low road that leads to wonder and excitement. 

 

I do suggest that you wear boots though because that road can be pretty muddy and rocky but the sights and sounds make up for it!