Friday, March 28, 2014

Those who arrive survive!

As many of you know one of my favorite TV shows is the Walking Dead.  This coming Sunday is the season finale and then I will have to wait over 6 months until it comes back on.  This show is about the zombie apocalypse where the zombies roam the earth and attack the living.  Although I don't believe that the zombies are the real threat in this new world, maybe that's a different blog post, this post is going to be about the:

The top 10 things not to do during the Zombie Apocalypse!
(Probably makes more sense if you seen the Walking Dead)

10.  If you see signs that say "Those who arrive survive"  talking about a safe community, do not go there. Turn around and run the opposite way!

9.  If come across a town that seems wonderful and great and led by a guy that seems to be genuinely concerned about the people that live there and overly friendly but the town has built an arena where at night they have two people fight each other while tied up zombies are circling around them for entertainment purposes, get out of there!  What all the sudden during the zombie apocalypse there aren't basketballs anymore?  No one can teach the kids ballet for a recital? No one can play the guitar? You can find nothing else to entertain you? Get out of there as fast as you can.  The leader may have an aquarium of zombie heads.  I'm just sayin! 

8/  Don't walk backwards anywhere.  There is no reason to walk backwards.  Anytime someone walks backwards they stumble and trip and fall right into a zombie and either die or get hurt.  Just don't walk backwards.

7.  Don't assume that a zombie is dead.  When you are walking around a there is a "dead" zombie on the ground because it isn't moving, don't assume it is!  Come on people, that is just a zombie playing possum.  The minute you walk past it it's going to bite your leg and we are going to have to cut your leg off so you don't become a zombie. You know what they say about assuming!

6.  While searching for food, if you come across a giant can of pudding don't eat it all by yourself.  Maybe I want some pudding.  What I can't get no pudding?  Come on it's the zombie apocalypse, share the pudding!

5.  Don't go out at night.  Really people don't do it!  I mean why would you want to go out at night there are zombies out there!  Do you want to die?

4. Remember this simple equation:  Closed door = Zombie behind it!  So when you go into a house looking for supplies and there is a closed door in front of you, if you got to open it just know there is a zombie behind it so you are prepared! 

3.  Don't drive a motorcycle.  We all know that noise attracts zombies.  Could you pick a louder vehicle?  It's not a problem while your traveling but the minute you get to you destination your going to have every zombie in a 5 mile radius headed your way.

2.  Don't shoot from the hip.  When shooting zombies you have to be accurate and hit them in the head.  This isn't an action adventure movie where you can shoot from the hip or turn your gun sideways like some sorta zombie killin gangster!  Aim down the sights.  If I have learned nothing else from playing Call of Duty I have learned to aim down the sights.

1.  Never say to someone "I'll be right back..."  You won't be!

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